To finish! At last! I’ve been waiting since they released in 2020, and finally, my PlayStation 5 has arrived.
Well not so much happened as I’ve struggled to get my hands on the good ones since they were released 18 months ago despite my constant efforts but the final components I needed for my home PlayStation 5 are here. That’s what I celebrate. Try not to be too jealous though.
Okay, so first of all: no, this is not an officially sanctioned PlayStation 5 in any way. But who cares ? I got the idea when my neighbor told me he was going to rebuild an old car in his garage. Fuck you Sony, I’ll build my own. I tried your way, tried setting it up directly, but to no avail.
Have you ever heard that Johnny Cash song, “One Piece At A Time?” It’s the story of a guy who steals a car from the factory where he works piece by piece and assembles it at home. It’s really good.
That’s right, I have One Piece’d At A Time’d my own PlayStation 5.
The problem is, I don’t work in a PlayStation factory, though. So it wasn’t going to be exactly the same as the Johnny Cash song that I based my plan on. So I gathered what I needed to build my own PlayStation 5 from various thrift stores and garage sales over the last month or so.
Laugh all you want, but do you want to know something? This thing will work 100%. In theory. It may not have all the ports and “sound-playing ability” that a real one would have, but it will be in my house, which puts it a notch or two above the real thing, if you tell me ask.
I could easily go on to list the things the official PlayStation 5 has that mine doesn’t (HDMI, online access, no exposed wires, lack of sharp edges), but instead, how about to list everything mine CAN do? (Again, in theory. I have to get this motherfucker running first. But these plans I made pretty good, honestly.)
For starters, what about backwards compatibility? How about playing old Playstation 1 and 2 games? How about imitating a few at a time? What am I talking about ? Oh I dunno, how about TWO different disc drives, each capable of playing any game from either PlayStation! Hell, there’s even a disc player in the middle that will exclusively play PS1 games.
Oh, and unfortunately there’s no wireless support for the controllers, but do you know what is? Six controller ports! That’s right, six! Fuck you, N64. I made six.